The Atlantic Crossword
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My mother, in an effort to keep me humble and rooted, likes to remind me of embarrassing facts from my childhood. What do you want to do with your life? I want to be a wife. In my mind, the image remained the same: a radiant woman, front and center, dressed in full bridal plumage. Only a vague sense of a spouse entered this fantasy. A hazy outline of a man, wearing a tuxedo, hovered in the background like a waiter ready to fill my water glass. The idea that a bride, or wife, requires another person to define it never occurred to my childhood mind.
Wait a minute , I thought, who takes out the garbage minutes after declaring their marriage over? After eight and a half years together, a little under four of them as a married couple, my husband decided that he no longer wanted a wife with a disability. Having a partner with a disability is challenging; I get that. I am still the same person at my core, but the disease has changed my ability to walk and slowed my speech. The reality is more complicated. Disabled people are more than likely to go through a divorce than nondisabled people in the general population.
Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear. Months ago, on a business trip, a female co-worker and I attempted to meet up with others for drinks, but when everyone else bailed, we decided to still go out. After multiple rounds of drinks, barhopping, and great conversation, I realized we had an intense connection. After the business trip, we continued to talk and meet up for drinks. The feelings got stronger and I shared information with her that I had never told anyone.