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For instance, I am okay with the us not seeing each other very often part. He's currently doing emergency medicine and about to start residency. Money is not everything although the ex certainly has her share. What's hard for us, is he doesn't understand why I gladly accept extra hours and work and community service projects, which sometimes impinge on the little time we do have to spend together. Most mormon girls look at guys like you as a project and that they have a lifetime to work on the project. Dating a dr is hard. Mormons are also taught "Families can be together forever. The way he wanted to live his life, the family he wanted to have, the wife he dreamt of- matched the type of person I longed for. It's just not worth it to constantly be stressing over this and feeling dissatisfied with the way things are after we've been dating for this long. I think you are all lucky to have such successful husbands, and I think in any marriage it is important to keep your own identity especially when you have children.
I would advise you to try to be as understanding as you can of her point of view, because having you world view shattered is very difficult and can take a long time to recover from. But wait a minute. She was expecting me to break up with her, like all previous guys she's been into have done. I've already approached him like a million times to ask why he has been distant with me but now I'm realising it's his work load but he doesn't want to admit it's a lot for him. I have read some of the comment here and would like to share my experience. Spending a lifetime single is not something most people would choose to do, but fear of being forever single should never be a deciding factor in entering a marriage, lest serious problems go unaddressed before serious commitments are made. Just go ahead and ask for the definitions and treat it like learning a new language. It's a great idea to know where you stand so that you'll be prepared when this comes up in conversation. She views patriarchy as a quality of God.